Worst Fears

Ever since I was little I always had a fear of a break-in. I'm not sure when it started, or why, but remember several nights where I would actually "hear" windows being opened. Second story windows, no-less. It would keep me awake. petrified, and watching every shadow on the walls in the hallway. In the early years I would retreat to my parent's room. We were not allowed to get in bed with them and I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to even wake them (although I don't remember for sure). I just remember showing up in their room with my blanket and pillow and curling up on the floor next to the bed and spending the rest of the night there. Might be why I always go with a child who wants to snuggle in the middle of the night or allow them to climb into our bed.

Anyway. At some point I got tired of staying up and convinced myself that if someone WAS going to break in...then they would. It hadn't happened yet and the only one suffering was me. I decided that staying up would not prevent it from happening and decided I was better off just sleeping and taking my chances. The problem was solved! For a long time, anyway.

So now I'm back to my old childhood fear. It's heightened by the fact that I not only have to save myself from these imaginary intruders, I have to save two children as well. It's at it's worst when Hubster is gone, as he was last night. It's not exactly that I feel safer when he's home (although apparently it is), he sleeps like a ROCK and I'm pretty sure I would notify any intruder that I was awake by trying to wake him. Maybe it's that I feel safer knowing there would be two of us to protect the kids? Maybe I think he will stall them long enough for me to put my "escape plan" (yes, I have it all planned out. I've even alerted the neighbors that I will need their help getting the kids off the roof) into motion? I'm not sure. I just know that he went to work at 11:00 pm last night and from the time I tried to lay down, my mind started racing. How can I get both kids out? I put my cell under my pillow because I was sure the home phone would go beep-beep-beep as I dialed 911. Then I thought, "Will they be able to trace the cell number as easily as the home phone should I be unable to speak?" Then I thought of giving the phone to Boog, he'd know what to do. All this played out in my mind as I laid there. It's excruciating what the mind can do.

I had a friend who had her house broken into over the weekend. She was home with her daughter while her Husband and son were out of town. This probably made my fear worse, but in the end was my saving grace. As I ran it through my head, I convinced myself that my worst fear came true for her and it would be way to coincidental for it to happen to me as well. I finally fell asleep around 3am. I awoke to the sound of the front door opening at 5:30am. I jumped up and slowly walked to the window...where I saw Hubster's car in the driveway. Whew! I went back to bed and got another hour of sleep.

What's your worst fear?

Guiding Light~ The End

I started watching Soap Operas when I was very small, probably around the age of 5. Everyone in my family watched all the CBS soaps and it was always the topic of conversation when we got together. Since most of them were on while I was in school, GL became the first soap I got addicted to. I've had periods of time (years) where I haven't had time to watched, but what they say is true...you can always get right back into it.

I haven't watched soaps since I was on maternity leave with Boog, so it's been 6 years, but when I heard that the show was going off the air, I HAD to see the final episodes. I still don't have time during the day, but thanks to our trusty DVR, I was able to record this final week. Each night after everyone went to bed, I would watch all my old favorites come back to town. With a wedding (that turned into 2) and a death, several old characters came back to say their final good byes.

As I watched the very last episode last night, I not only remembered all the old story lines but also thought about all the people I used to enjoy this show with...that are no longer with us. My mother and grandmother were die-hard fans and would have been very sad to see this show end. It, however, outlasted both of them.

It's been a very reflective couple of months for me. We (my husband and I) have had several family deaths and just Wednesday one of our neighbors passed away. It makes me want to hold my kids close and cherish all of my relationships. I'm reaching out to family and friends to let them know how much they mean to me. Life is short and I think it is important to not lose sight of how we got to where we are and all the relationships that have helped mold us into the people we are today.

Bridge and Beyond Project ~ Getting Involved

I'm always searching for new ways to give back and help others out. I make my yearly donations to the MS society and St. Jude. I would give (monetarily) so much more...if we had it. Instead, I participate in events such as Relay for Life and the Alzheimer's walk and depend on friends and relatives to help to raise money for these worthy causes. I'm always looking for ways to help out, doing whatever I can to help others and feeling lucky for the situation we are in. We have plenty of food. Hubster has a full time job and I have a part time job. The kids are healthy, we have a home, and we have plenty of clothes for each season.

Others are not as fortunate.

I've been fortunate to meet some wonderful people since I started blogging and one of them is Sandy from Travelling Suitcase. She takes us all on each trip she's taken, tells us the good and bad of each trip and shares beautiful pictures that make us feel like we were there with her. It's truly a lot of fun...but she does more than travel.

Bridge and Beyond Project is Sandy's way of giving back. She is very concerned with the amount of homeless people in her community (and everywhere) and has set up a site to help the homeless men living under a bridge in central Ohio. She has set specific goals on hats, mittens and scarves for these men and with the weather in Ohio getting cold early this year, she needs our help.

If you knit or know someone who does, please visit Bridge and Beyond Project and shoot Sandy an e-mail letting her know you'd like to help out. I told her I had some baby and Children's hats that I made on my Nifty Knitter and she said she could use those as well. They also try to help out women and children that are cared for at a free clinic in her area. The point being, I am no fancy knitter, but anything we can do is appreciated and used.

Back to the Grind

Today is the first day of school. It seems like as soon as school starts our lives become busier. Getting one ready for school, making sure backpacks are packed, getting dinner together to make sure it's ready at a decent time so bath and bedtime can fall into place. Extracurricular activities, homework and then start getting ready for the next day. I'm glad I took some time to just enjoy my little boy before I sent him off to first grade.

I'm back!

Currently looking for more charities to spotlight and learn more about. If you have one that you think needs more recognition, e-mail me or comment here.